Tuesday, October 24, 2017


Almost at the end of the academic year, workload is piling up, due to 

Whatever happened to all the I must be productive, I must be organized, I must be everything that I'm not now haha. 


Better luck next year, off to settle things I have yet to do T.T

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Anyone still reading?

Haha. So previously when I did the sayatme and sarahah thing, there were people asking me about this blog, it's quite nice to know someone still reads.

Then I started thinking, why would I run out of topics to blog about?
I do get it, my life is falling into a boring pattern, but there are so many little things in life worth recording, so why did I stop recording?

Then I think I found the answer, it must be because of Instagram story. Haha.

Sometimes I come across something really funny, and I thought I should blog about it. But at the same time I might have shared it on ig story, then after the story disappears 24 hours later, the thought of blogging disappears together with it, because 1. I've shared about it, I am lazy to do the same thing again, 2. I forgot what it was.

When I finally realized what was happening, I told myself I have to get back to this dusty space because it was something I really enjoyed doing, and I am not ready to let this blog die.


Monday, September 4, 2017


As Malaysians, we are blessed with a lot of holidays. 
I won't pretend that I do not feel happy when I get extra days off but I do agree with what people are talking about reducing productivity. 
I feel so reluctant to get back to school, to start everything all over again, to go through the same things over and over again, to see the same people and listen to them talk about the same things. 
Then I think of my students, I have to face them again! HELP!! 
they're probably feeling the same too, oh shit, have to face Cikgu Kho again. 
and I bet 120% they did not do the holiday work I myself or any other teacher of theirs assigned. 
I can already see myself getting mad in class tomorrow. 

anyway, how did I get here?

Oh, the holidays definitely slowed down the momentum, and I am as ready to face tomorrow as my students are ready to face SPM (which is NOT READY AT ALL). And also, knowing that holidays are coming up again, tell me how to gather myself together. T.T

I can do this. (while my heart and soul travels all around the world)

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Quarter 3

Ohmy ohmy, August is about to end. And I haven't been updating. There are a few reasons, but mainly it is laziness, and I don't really know what to write anymore. I don't feel like typing a whole chunk of rants, I don't have any light topic to share, I am getting boring. 

more than two months since our trip to Jogjakarta.
I'm missing the carefree times and the crazy people.
Haha, it seems I am always saying the same thing.
Indeed, I am becoming boring.

So how's life? Okay-ish. Still alive and kicking (the ass of nobody) lol.
I've been working for a year and a half already (!!)
how did time pass me by?

what do I want to do with my life? I don't know.
what are my dreams? I don't know.
am I happy? I don't know.

err, so here's my sort of update. haha
let me rearrange my thoughts and my life, and I'll be back
not gonna let 2017 end with only 3 posts (omg)

Monday, May 22, 2017

Monday morning thoughts

I'm back. More than a month late.
I'm really excited because holiday is just around the corner, literally around the corner hehe. But I'm feeling so burdenend looking at 5C. They are so weak and lacking of motivation and purpose in life. Becoming a teacher helped me see how education is so important. Looking at my students I often tell myself education is what will help them change their situation but they seem not to care at all, and this kind of attitude is not gonna take them anywhere.

I can already see them wasting their life away smoking, racing illegally, having the time of their life, even doing drugs, because that's what they're doing now, while their parents work hard trying to support them. Have these kids no eyes to see the hardship of their parents?

I've seen parents paying for textbooks that their irresponsible child lose. They're so lucky to have textbook loans yet they lose the books within 3 months of schooling. They have this paper 3 in History which is an open book test, and will make up 10% of their to final results, but they choose to stare at the paper, doing nothing, knowing very well that they have to pass History to qualify for a certificate. It was worse last year, many come for exam without pens.

I know SPM isn't everything, I know good results doesn't mean a good future, I know what they say about not judging a fish by its ability to climb trees, but this just isn't the csse here. These fishes don't even know how to breathe in water.

I wanna cry. :/

Monday, April 17, 2017


Whatever happened to resolutions and goals?
Yeah, life happened.

I don't even know where to begin. So during the hiatus, the following happened:

  1. More responsibilities
  2. Had a good year end holiday, met my friends and also went travelling (had wanted to blog all about it but we all know what happened)
  3. I started eating clean and a stricter fitness routine
  4. I contemplated life and goals
  5. I wanted to quit
  6. I still want to quit
  7. ... I should really sleep.
I'll be back soon, I hope.