Taiwan after 2 years

Currently sitting on a not so cold bench in KK airport, waiting for the 6am flight in a few hours to go

Good thing I brought a book, but I wanna save it for the flight in case I can't sleep lol.

A letter from Taiwan came in the mailbox the other day, sister's military training place has an open day. Acting on impulse, we bought tickets to go see her, which is why I am now here, sitting on the not so cold and not so comfortable bench. 

Kuching is awesome, but what's not so awesome about it is the airport. The places we can directly fly to are pretty limited. =(

Okeh back to my book

Taiwan here I come!

说了再见 才发现再也见不到

the last post was more than two weeks ago.

I was praying for a miracle

the miracle did come

my cousin, who was in urgent need of a healthy liver transplant received it on time

all the unsaid fear seemed to melt away, there seemed to be hope

but in the end, she didn't make it. or maybe she let go.

I guess I would choose to believe the latter.

rather than staying alive having to suffer endless treatments, injections, medications and even painful dialysis, letting go seems a welcoming alternative.

but when we saw her off the car, to the airport, I really believed she would come back, my tallest female cousin, not the container of ashes.

my family from daddy's side is very weird, according to mummy.

we don't talk much, but that's just how we are, we just don't talk much.

once in a while, when we get to gather, we would always, always compare our height. cousins on daddy's side are generally tall, except for one petite cousin. I am probably the second or third shortest, now that the pet frog is A LITTLE BIT taller than me. and then we talk nonsense.

we don't talk much, but you can't say we weren't close.

she was always there, every gathering. not needing to stand up, because she would always be the tallest, she is taller than my daddy. she always asked about when we were leaving for studies again, when we were coming back, when we were graduating. mummy said she had also asked about daddy's injuries, probably because she was experiencing some pain and knew how it felt, but she never ever expressed. she was always smiling. I remember every Chinese New Year, she would look at my nails and say I did a great job, and I helped her paint hers a few times. somehow, I can memorize her phone number, and that was all I remember of her.

her friends have been flooding her Facebook wall. she was such a nice person, so kind, so helpful, and always smiling. I didn't know she was active in basketball, I always thought it was her younger sister's talent. the bridesmaid dress she bought for us which failed to come in time for her wedding day is still hung in the closet, it was just last year. we said to put it on and take a photo when visiting her house this CNY, but never did, and it will never ever be done anymore.

a rare genetic disease. and all was taken away. life really does suck.

These few days

I have been back for some few days. But what have happened were a whirlwind of events. 

There was the rushed preparation to send the sister off to Taiwan again for pre-uni military training, only for the university she got accepted into. No phones and no means to reach us until the training is over. I hope and pray she's coping well, at least she was a very active scout, and we're all counting on that to help her pull through. But how about the next big thing, studying medicine? It's okay I have faith in her abilities! #妹妹要加油

And then a cousin fell sick. I haven't been praying that much for long. Do you believe in miracles? I am praying for a miracle. 

I had also finished reading The First Phone Call from Heaven.

"I never said goodbye."

"What a needless word," she said, "when you love somebody."

"Fear is how you lose your life... A little bit at a time... What we give to fear, we take away from faith... "

No idea what I'm trying to say, but these sentences somehow touched me.

To make it real. Yes I'm back. I'm back I'm back! For good!!

I'm happy.

9 more days and I'll be home. time does fly!

yes. the struggle is finally over!!!! actually not really, there are following up confusions on some document we are supposed to submit together. I despise our Faculty for not being clear with their instructions. and I thought I could proudly shout hands off. BUT STILL, I DID IT I DID IT WE ALL DID IT.

so it seems thesis can definitely be done in less than 14 weeks time. HAHAHA

no, don't ever follow that advice. side effects are stress which crashes down on you and all things that follow after hormonal imbalance caused by stress.

I am utterly grateful for everyone who supported me through this journey.

so many times I broke down, like really really hysterically shouting and crying

I don't know why, maybe I'm just not accustomed to experiencing stress

but it doesn't matter anymore. IT IS OVER!

and I promise this is the final time I'll talk about this black book which brought so much tears and suffering to me. The black book has given Melody a sock, Melody is now a free elf! *NOOOO WHY DID DOBBY HAVE TO DIE!!!*

when I get back home I'll borrow the whole series from my cousin and reread them! YAYYYY

ahem. and then I got so fed up with my grass hair once again. the amount of split ends was terrible.

there is this Watson x Number76 promotion where we get a RM30 discount on hair cut!

after the very great debate between the angel and demon in my head, I decided it was time I let it go.

so yes. HI to short hair again. I haven't been having such short hair for long! lol

I was pretty worried about all my curls being gone though luckily they were still there.

I'd say Number76 is so famous for a reason, the service was really good!

I left feeling happy and refreshed! and the hair wash was so so comfortable. haha

ahhh, I have so much to talk about

went to PD for a short getaway with my geniuses.

I actually tried to edit a pile of shit below Mr Nyak. hahaha.

you really don't need too many friends, a few good ones are more than enough to keep you going.

I'm so glad to have found them.

ending this post with an awesome portrayal of what we do the best - being awesome.

Thoughts over icecream

One day I was at Inside Scoop with my cousin. We were scrolling our phones as usual, waiting for the order to come. Their durian and varlhona chocolate is seriously to die for ahhhhh. 

Then a group of four people came in, a younger couple with a mother and a grandma. The grandma instantly reminded me of Popo, and I couldn't help but keep looking at her. It has almost been two years, I know mummy still misses her a lot. 

Then I saw that the grandma was very quiet. There was not much conversation going on too, except for the granddaughter asking if they were okay with some icecream flavour. 

The grandma didn't seem to enjoy herself though, I tried to catch her eye, I just felt like smiling to her. I hope we didn't let popo feel this lonely when she was still around, but as sad as it is, I think we probably did. :(