Monday, May 22, 2017

Monday morning thoughts

I'm back. More than a month late.
I'm really excited because holiday is just around the corner, literally around the corner hehe. But I'm feeling so burdenend looking at 5C. They are so weak and lacking of motivation and purpose in life. Becoming a teacher helped me see how education is so important. Looking at my students I often tell myself education is what will help them change their situation but they seem not to care at all, and this kind of attitude is not gonna take them anywhere.

I can already see them wasting their life away smoking, racing illegally, having the time of their life, even doing drugs, because that's what they're doing now, while their parents work hard trying to support them. Have these kids no eyes to see the hardship of their parents?

I've seen parents paying for textbooks that their irresponsible child lose. They're so lucky to have textbook loans yet they lose the books within 3 months of schooling. They have this paper 3 in History which is an open book test, and will make up 10% of their to final results, but they choose to stare at the paper, doing nothing, knowing very well that they have to pass History to qualify for a certificate. It was worse last year, many come for exam without pens.

I know SPM isn't everything, I know good results doesn't mean a good future, I know what they say about not judging a fish by its ability to climb trees, but this just isn't the csse here. These fishes don't even know how to breathe in water.

I wanna cry. :/

Monday, April 17, 2017


Whatever happened to resolutions and goals?
Yeah, life happened.

I don't even know where to begin. So during the hiatus, the following happened:

  1. More responsibilities
  2. Had a good year end holiday, met my friends and also went travelling (had wanted to blog all about it but we all know what happened)
  3. I started eating clean and a stricter fitness routine
  4. I contemplated life and goals
  5. I wanted to quit
  6. I still want to quit
  7. ... I should really sleep.
I'll be back soon, I hope. 

Saturday, November 5, 2016

one fine Saturday morning, I'm back!

typing from my *workstation on a Saturday morning.
** just my table in the staff room, workstation makes everything, including me sound more professional lol. I'm sitting with my legs folded, clad in jeans and a polo Tee, not very professional.

Forgive me for being random, we woke up to messages saying it is a working day, wow wow wow. Had I knew earlier, I wouldn't have stayed back yesterday to settle stuff, sacrificing my nap. Ugh whatever, I'm not complaining. So before I get back to my work, let me just update, more like backdate a bit.

Recently I picked up a new instrument, I'm now playing in our school's teacher gamelan team.
the other day, we were invited to perform in another school's award giving ceremony.
this school also provide for students with special needs, and the above photo is them performing a dance. I don't know why I started to cry. How does it feel to be like them, looking at their other schoolmates who can walk, run, speak, dance and do anything freely while they struggle through life? How does it feel to be like their teacher who see them fall, see their hardship?
At that moment with my eyes red and wet, I was feeling very thankful for everything.

the first time I tried on the new instrument, I don't know the name haha. I have also gotten to try on the drum for a few times by now.

Performing alongside students during the Form 6 graduation.

I lost count of the times I wore this costume, hoping I can officially retire and become the coach starting next year. I can be really fierce and I kind of like it hahaha.

look at that eyebag.

alright. work is waiting. see you hopefully soon!

Sunday, October 9, 2016


Ohmy, almost one month since my last update, and the damned Blogger app on my phone just has to decide to crash each time I type something, how convenient. I have so many drafts waiting to be published, but they are all in my head, meaning to say, they'll probably stay in my head until I get less lazy, or until I forget.

Since the past is too far from now, let me just blog about yesterday first (I will get back to the past I promise) It was the National Sports Day and our school had a mini sports and uniform unit carnival in conjunction with the celebration. I was quite reluctant at first because it had been such a brain draining week and I felt quite exhausted.

Oh wow you cannot add pbotos when you're blogging from your browser! *insert shocked emoji* (I can do it for you but you won't be able to see it anyway)

I woke up the wrong side of the bed, groaned, sigh and moaned until time was running out, then reluctantly got ready for school. Got grumpier because I had to help people do their job, which always seems to happen in this school and it is damn annoying.

But somehow, the grumpiness seemed to vanish. The activities were fun! There were marching, netball and basketball matches, futsal, cooking in the wild, building of camps and most excitingly tug of war. I got so excited watching and supported all my classes, jumping beside them like crazy. Hahaha

Before 4C entered final, my friend told them: if you find the opponent overpowering you, let go together and let them fly! But they said: no teacher, even if we lose to them, we'll still cooperate and fight till the end.

I was so touched, their palms already had wounds from earlier matches, and they had never been this united before. They lost though, the champion was too strong. But guess what, after they got up, they were hugging and shaking hands, and a boy smiled happily saying: it's okay, we got second!

I went all awww inside. I hope this newfound unity among them would make them better students in class too. Exam starts on Tuesday. Here comes the marking struggle again. I really really really really seriously hope they will improve. They're already quite deeply rooted into my heart.

Be back soon to upload photos, and expiring posts. Have a nice Sunday !

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Happy Holiday wheeeee

We (or I) always tell myself whatever I do, it is not to please anyone. Indeed it is very true, especially in school. 

Don't remember if I said before, there are many people who try too hard to impress someone else. 

On Thursday, we were called to meet the principal in groups. I didn't know until now that teachers are evaluated. Then I found out I was being grouped in the first group, meaning to say among the high achievers. Principal seems to have high hopes for me, I hope I can live up to his expectations, it does feel good when your hard work is being recognized.

And finally it's school holiday! Home is seriously the best recharge station, now let me enjoy this long awaited and well deserved break. 
Ugly pimple scar but never mind. Hehehe