Monday, August 31, 2015

The 58th

For the first time ever, I took part in a peaceful demonstration, actually, the first time in any kind of demonstration. Unless being an onlooker during the Bangkok Shutdown counts, it opened my eyes to how peaceful a demonstration can be, so peaceful it actually became a carnival.

I had always thought these demonstrations pointless. Up until now, I would still remain this thought. It has been shouting at us in the face where the true problem lies, what change are we expecting if the root of the problem is planted so deep, so hard to eradicate. 

I won't say that I have been to Bersih 4.0, and am therefore glad for doing my part in the change we wish to see. My whole Facebook feed was flooded by yellow posts. I'm just glad I have taken the first step. 

I am grateful for Malaysia, tanah tumpah darahku. I am thankful to be born in a country of peace. I love my country, and I pray for a better tomorrow, for our generation, for generations to come.
Keranamu, negara Malaysia. Malaysia!

Saturday, August 22, 2015

The saddest short story, the shortest sad story

Saw this on Facebook
1. Hogwarts is closing down.
2. Dobby didn't make it.
3. She never came back.
4. I love you, but
5. Sorry, no more ice-cream
6. I failed my thesis
7. Then I woke up
8. I am always forgotten
9. Too tired, gave up
10. But you never called 
11. Well, we drifted apart 

Not that sad, how about you try? :)

I remember a Cecelia Ahern book "A Place Called Here" 
There's a place called 'here' where all the missing things go to
Someone went missing, and ended up 'here'. One day, he heard his own laugh.

Isn't it just really really sad? Whoever out there had forgotten his laugh. Ohmy ohmy.

Friday, August 21, 2015

2 more months to convocation!

Sometimes I wish there is someone I can share with when I see some very funny Harry Potter posts on the internet. I know I'm quite obsessed but I just can't control. It's really weird how different a book can be, reading at different age and stages of life. 

And also, when I come across certain things hinting literature that we have read. I saw someone go to the Isle of Capri on Instagram! Does anyone still remember the guy who planned to die at the age of 60 on the Isle of Capri? Haha
Just an unrelated photo to (maybe) brighten up a pointless post. It's already 21st of August!!

Sunday, August 16, 2015

whatever you do

do not work for your family. not if the business isn't yours.

this lady I know had been working for her sister upon graduating from vocational school.
'Accounts Clerk', that's her post. but apart from accounts, which is, in my opinion troublesome enough, her job scope includes telephone operator, janitor, logistics, and many more which I do not know of.
after a few attempts to resign, she succeeded. later she found out they got a new girl to do her job. 
the new girl's pay is so much higher than hers, but it seems youngsters today do not really know what they do. she studied accounts, but she doesn't know even the basics, she expects her boss' sister to come back to guide her, to clear up the mess she started. 
the boss said she would pay her sister for her help, and it was quickly forgotten. because she is her sister, right? I can't help feeling a little mad for this lady. it's no longer about the issue of money, but the way she is being treated. don't ever take people for granted, that's a really bad thing to do. 

and there's another lady I know. why do I happen to know all the unfortunate people.
studying was never her forte. after facing failures at various higher education, she came home and worked for her brother at his shop. she did everything as well, she did a lot, accounts, dealing with suppliers, publicity, almost everything. she had no time to herself, she couldn't join gatherings, her social circle became so small and restricted. she wasn't happy. one day she got into a fight with her brother. she quit, but without a proper certificate, she couldn't get any nice offer outside. and her years were wasted like that. I don't know what she plans for her future, maybe she would finally go back to her brother, to the job that she had grown so familiar with.

it might seem natural and convenient, to go work for your family. but the way I see it, it's pulling a person down, limiting room for growth, and also stripping him or her of the better opportunities the world has to offer.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

back again

it seems everyone has been doing a lot of thinking.
when I look at my coursemates who have already started working, I feel the pressure
whenever another new person I meet asks if I have found a job, I feel the pressure
then I see some other coursemates/friends still searching for answers (I find this term funny), I feel better
but what sort of answers are we really searching for?

I have this very strong urge to be different, how different is different?
and then I realized everyone is different.
I tend to pressurize myself to do something worth remembering before I settle down
I was so confident I was gonna go for work and travel
that would be a really really good experience for me
and I was pretty sure after that I would be able to control my fluttering heart
but I am a girl, a girl can't go to the USA alone, and it's gonna be so cold
^ it wasn't meant to sound like a sexist complaint

so foolish to think that my future would be all clear to me once I finish teaching practical.
has it really been a year since?

how is everyone doing?
I've been doing this and that, dancing, yoga, drawing, colouring, baking, playing with puzzles, playing the piano once in a while, you see, we got this really thick Richard Clayderman book in Taiwan at a really good price, and I even got myself a ocarina. lol it's like I have an asian mom who is desperate and kiasu, trying hard to prune her daughter into a lady of talent lol lol. nah my mum is not at all like that.
just this afternoon, we imagined her being the prime minister, and she graciously gave everyone in the family a post. today she cooked porridge, there was no ginger at home, so she used sugared ginger meant for snacking, and the porridge turned out sweet. can you imagine that. she can really get adventurous in the kitchen.

that's my ocarina. I haven't given it a name
at some point in my life I have finally accepted that certain things require talent
I was so excited to try out, but I also easily gave up after numerous tries of very shaky tune
and then I saw Totoro playing it together with May and her sister, so I picked it up again
I'm not gonna give up this time, I wanna play with Totoro! lol

Thursday, August 6, 2015


and then August came.
I finally finished reading the book over the four uncomfortable flights and watched the movie.
every single time someone crashes into my plan to watch a movie alone, they either end up 1) crying buckets or 2) falling asleep. my mum and aunt felt it was sad for me to watch a movie alone, so they tagged along for Paper Towns, and they fell asleep. lol

I am not a review type of person, but the urge just came.
first of all, the movie went at quite a peaceful pace, no obvious hoohahs, which explains why my mum fell asleep.

but I did enjoy myself. and I like how they included the comeback of how hard it was for Ben to get a date for prom, like it was so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is being used to cut diamonds. Hahaha maybe I am just lame but I laughed so hard when I was reading, maybe I just didn't expect that. I love this kind of nerds. 

and I like Cara. and Q has the very Q aura I don't even know how to put it in words. you just feel it.

guess this isn't a review after all. haha.

but at this point of time, I can't help but find it really relatable.

Q is all for the get to college get a job get a wife and live happily ever after.
And you'll be happy? asked Margo.

it seems life does have to go on like that. whatever dreams you have, when they get to meet reality face to face, they burst like bubbles.

I hereby grudgingly accept that I am graduating in October, I am going to get a job, I will have to settle down and be responsible for my own life. 

"Time. to. be. an. adult."

and then one day I might or might not get married (**) , and then I might or might not have kids. and then I will have to work harder to provide for my kids. but this is still a faraway story for another day. 

although I do look forward to the day that I can be financially independent, and hopefully able to support my family, which would be a great achievement for me, is this it? there has to be something else right?

okay I have just lost myself again. how I wish I could just grab tickets and go wandering, I really wish to see the world. don;t we all wish we were Margo Roth Spiegelman?

no, not really. some prefer certainty. but uncertainty is also a certainty. lol. what am I talking about again? 

**actually, the probability of getting married is pretty high, haha**

I lack the courage to move out of my comfort zone.
I have been buzzfeeding on Harry Potter again. 
there was a sad post though, and it made me cry. NOOOOOOOOO

they said I am a Hufflepuff. okay.