back again

it seems everyone has been doing a lot of thinking.
when I look at my coursemates who have already started working, I feel the pressure
whenever another new person I meet asks if I have found a job, I feel the pressure
then I see some other coursemates/friends still searching for answers (I find this term funny), I feel better
but what sort of answers are we really searching for?

I have this very strong urge to be different, how different is different?
and then I realized everyone is different.
I tend to pressurize myself to do something worth remembering before I settle down
I was so confident I was gonna go for work and travel
that would be a really really good experience for me
and I was pretty sure after that I would be able to control my fluttering heart
but I am a girl, a girl can't go to the USA alone, and it's gonna be so cold
^ it wasn't meant to sound like a sexist complaint

so foolish to think that my future would be all clear to me once I finish teaching practical.
has it really been a year since?

how is everyone doing?
I've been doing this and that, dancing, yoga, drawing, colouring, baking, playing with puzzles, playing the piano once in a while, you see, we got this really thick Richard Clayderman book in Taiwan at a really good price, and I even got myself a ocarina. lol it's like I have an asian mom who is desperate and kiasu, trying hard to prune her daughter into a lady of talent lol lol. nah my mum is not at all like that.
just this afternoon, we imagined her being the prime minister, and she graciously gave everyone in the family a post. today she cooked porridge, there was no ginger at home, so she used sugared ginger meant for snacking, and the porridge turned out sweet. can you imagine that. she can really get adventurous in the kitchen.

that's my ocarina. I haven't given it a name

at some point in my life I have finally accepted that certain things require talent

I was so excited to try out, but I also easily gave up after numerous tries of very shaky tune

and then I saw Totoro playing it together with May and her sister, so I picked it up again

I'm not gonna give up this time, I wanna play with Totoro! lol