fourteenth week

I'm feeling a little more alive, I have gotten enough sleep to get me going again.

the final year production is a wrap. *pun intended*

let's just say it wasn't conflict free, none that blew up in our faces though.

but it was really a success and I laughed so hard, although I have watched most of their practices.

gotta admit, the walkie talkie made me look really cool, and I like that. hahaha.

haven't been getting to see most of my classmates since the beginning of final year, or was it year 3? I don't remember. I'm not a socializing person, I don't know if I regret that. sometimes I feel like a failure because I have so many lukewarm friendships. but I quickly dismiss this thought when I think of the friends I managed to make. lol. the last two days did feel great though, having meals together, feeling cold together, dancing silly to songs together. I'll definitely miss a lot of these lovely people.

filters and makeup are magical, somehow I managed to look presentable! lol.

the final semester stress is ruining me and I think I look really hideous now.

it's okay. because this too shall pass.

very very very soon.

*back to my chapter 4*

BYE!

Tough times don't last, they said.

This day I sent my love off to the land of the free

How excited I am for him, I might not get to experience this

The states might be a place I can only visit through dramas, movies and books

But that's another thought for another day

Ahh, here comes the upgraded LDR Challenge. I hereby officiate LDR 2.0.

** data collection for thesis has finally started, I like this energy, let's keep it flowing. 

Have you ever consciously felt yourself going crazy?

I did. I suddenly felt like screaming 

It reminded me of a time when I had the sudden urge to laugh, of course I suppressed those moments

But last night I really screamed. Hahaha.

And after screaming I wondered what I was doing, and then I looked at my laptop screen, and I felt my head throbbing. And then I suddenly wanted to cry lol.

Last presentation done.

Last presentation of my degree life, so I wore my favourite baju kurung. 

Every single presentation, I freak out 

I can feel my hands shake slightly 

I can hear my voice threatening to waver

But by time I finish each and every presentation, I know I end confidently 

It was tough, this course has been nothing but endless presentations, big ones, small ones, formal ones, spontaneous ones, individual or group ones

But now I can look back and say I did it, I've made it this far, I've grown, even though the progress was slow.

I know one day I'll also look back to today, and be amazed by myself, on how I managed to finish my thesis in less than a semester ( hahaha queen of procrastination )

How I wish today is already the said day. 

Remember what I said about the daily to-do lists? 

To-do today:

- exercise 

- complete the hardcopy for two factor theory

- complete chapter 2 

Signing off, gotta be productive. 😎😎

Mel in Butterworth again.

it's been another long hiatus, and I've been unpredictable.

my monthly getaway for May in a glance. oh wait, it's 2 glances lol.

maybe if I don't mind spamming the Instagram feed this is how my actual gallery will look like

same old, same old. but the sushi restaurant was a new try, cendol was new, loklok rojak was new. actually I should have said all above are new except for my Asian eggs benedict, McDonald's and the spaghetti. lol. I love french fries. and when your bf is into clean eating you get to try special food like less garlic more cheese steamed naan.

and if I don't mind uploading such close up photos of myself which I find really unflattering, this might be another part of my gallery.

got mad so many times in 5 days, I blame it on stress and expectations.

we finally talked it over last night, I have also made up my mind on certain things

but I'm not gonna tell you. too private. hahaha.

so many times I have told myself to care less about people

why do I have to be the one who is always there for them when:

- they need someone to talk to

- they need someone to eat dinner with

- they don't want to go out alone, they don't want to shop alone

- they need some medications because they fall sick

- they are bored and want to hang out

I am not self-promoting, maybe I really seem freer than the rest that's why people come to me

or maybe I should feel happy because people believe I can help

but that's the thing. I have become the friend only in need.

HA. so much negativity.

I always seem to do things at the wrong time.

I better stop here.